With holiday season just around the corner, the time has come to start thinking about how you are going to present yourself, vis a vis your nails. Like, think you’re going to get away with that chipped middle fingernail when you’re trying to give your mom the bird after she suggests the two of you “go to church”? No. She’ll notice that shit right away and therefore not take you seriously.

So, besides that very important reason, you need to have your nails in check. There are so many cookies to bake (and not eat), parties to go to, people to see and make fun of, etc. It’s necessary that your nails look as coordinated as your Christmas list (which is alphabetized, obviously). Here’s the betchy manicures you need for every holiday occasion.

While Decorating: “Guild” by JINsoon, $18

Whatever you’re about to celebrate, decorating the shit out of your house is a necessary holiday occasion. That’s why your nails have to be decorated themselves. In gold specks. Why the fuck not?

At A Work Party: “Rose and Poetry” by Alice and Olivia, $15

For a work occasion, go with a classic ruby red shade. It’s non denominational or whatever.

Hosting Your Own Party: “Haute Tub” by Essie, $9

Nothing says, “this party might end weird, but also become the best night of everyone’s lives” like a purple sparkly hue, you know?

Going to the Snow (Or Anywhere Cold): “Fiver” by Butter London, $15


The icy mint color is perfect for when you want to stay inside and look cute in your winter accessories/drink your coffee/spike your coffee with absinthe.

Out Shopping: “Classic Cash” by Trust Fund Beauty, $15

The brand is called “Trust Fund”, the color “Classic Cash”. True or false: this explains your life to a tee? You know what your Dad/financial advisor says: “Money breeds more money!” Or something.

Netflix and Chill (aka Not Working): “Nude Beige No 100” by Burberry. $22

If you’re hanging out in the nude, which is presumably what you’d be doing here (whether alone or not, IDK you make that call), a nude mani will always be fashion forward. Just make sure to turn on the heater.

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