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After a long semester and a seemingly endless exam period, winter break could not come f*cking soon enough. Break is probably the only thing motivating you to just finish your damn paper, so you might find yourself daydreaming mid-study session about all of the great things you’re gonna do with all the free time you’ll suddenly have. But before you get ahead of yourself, let’s take a moment to bring your winter break expectations back to reality.

Actually staying on top of school work

Expectation: After seeing how much you f*cked yourself over during finals by not doing the readings literally all semester, you’re gonna order all your books for next semester and get ahead on the reading. You’re determined to make Dean’s List and vow you won’t put off all your work until the last minute like you did last semester. 

Reality: Two weeks into the spring semester and you still haven’t bought your books yet. And probably never will, tbh.

Having a rom-com romance

Expectation: You’ll go ice skating or Christmas tree shopping and have a Hallmark movie-style meet-cute whirlwind romance. You and your new true love will save Christmas/whatever small town you live in by baking cookies or solving a low-grade crime or something.

Reality: You spend every damn day unsuccessfully resisting the urge to hit up your high school ex.

Getting sh*t done for your future

Expectation: Every day will feel like #motivationmonday and you’ll submit ALL of your summer internship applications before the end of the break. 

Reality: You sleep in past noon every day—when the sun sets at like, 4pm, how could you possibly be expected to get anything done in that time frame? It’s also only December. You’ll have pleeeenty of time to get that sh*t done before the summer deadlines. I mean, that’s what syllabus week free time is for, right? 

Finally getting fit

Expectation: With all that free time, you’ll hit the gym every day and put all those Lululemon leggings you’ve been wearing exclusively to class to their intended use. You’ll have no excuse without classes and studying to get in the way, so you’ll finally be able to embody the fit b*tch you stalk (but refuse to follow) on Instagram. 

Reality: Your slight motivation to work out doesn’t stand a chance with all the holiday baked goods sitting around. Spin class? Sorry, what? I couldn’t hear you over the crunch of this peppermint toffee in my mouth.

Social media activity

Expectation: Your Insta game is going to be ON. POINT. You know all the hacks to make your hometown look aesthetically pleasing. With so many cute Christmas decorations and all your winter outfits, there will be endless opportunities to keep your feed fresh. 

Reality: It’s too f*cking cold to dress cute. In a couple of weeks no one will have likes on Instagram anymore, so what’s the point of even trying?

Eating real food at home

Expectation: For weeks you’ve been fantasizing about all the home-cooked meals your parents will make you. You can’t wait for a break from the college dining hall food and the food poisoning that comes with it. They’ll have a whole spread of all your favorites set up for your arrival. 

Reality: Your parents barely even cook anymore and all they have in the fridge is a jar of pickles and a bag of unopened wilted spinach. Looks like delivery again.

Meeting up with your hometown friends

Expectation: You’ll hang out with your friends 24/7, just like in high school. Everything will feel like you never even spent time apart and there will be no drama. 

Reality: It takes at least a full week, five different “activity” suggestions, and 12 different potential dates and times to plan something. When you all finally decide where to go, half of your friends cancel on you with some bullsh*t excuse at the last second, and the other half only want to meet up so they can convince you to join their pyramid scheme.

Organizing Your Life

Expectation: You’re finally going to check literally everything off your to-do list. Organizing the files on your desktop? Check. Getting a haircut? Check. Admitting to yourself that you can’t afford all the sh*t you have in your shopping carts in all those tabs you have open? Check. By the end of break, you’ll be organization personified. 

Reality: Your to-do list will collect dust and accumulate more tasks that won’t get done. Instead of getting your act together, you’re going to watch all those shows you’ve been meaning to watch all semester.

Spending time with your family

Expectation: No matter how much you may hate to admit it, you missed your family like crazy during the semester. You can’t wait to spend quality time with them decorating the tree, watching movies, going shopping for each other’s gifts, and having dinner together. 

Reality: You all get on each other’s last nerve within five minutes and spend the rest of your break in separate rooms. You even listen at the door before leaving to avoid interaction. It’s for your own sanity, tbh.

Going out

Expectation: You’ll attend a lit af New Year’s Eve party. Everyone will compliment your outfit and your crush will miraculously also be at the party because of the power of ~holiday magic~. You’ll kiss at midnight and live happily ever after (or at least stay together long enough to a steady hookup). 

Reality: You’ll ring in the new year watching the ball drop with your family. Your parents will force you to write down some resolutions for 2020 even though you have zero intention of ever changing your ways.

Don’t get me wrong, winter break is the f*cking best. You get to sleep all day, have no real responsibilities, and can pretend for a brief moment that you’ll never have to walk into a lecture hall ever again. But if you want to enjoy it, you’ve got to let go of your expectations that winter break is anything more than hibernation (with Netflix and your parents’ liquor cabinet to keep you company). Honestly, by the time January rolls around, you’ll probably be dying to go back to college, where you’re free from your parents’ curfew and the reaches of your hometown MLM pushers.

Images: Victor Hughes / Unsplash; betches, offcampus (2), squaresayings / Instagram

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