Are you sitting down? Good. I have some very, very bad news for you. Researchers at UC Berkeley think theyve discovered a link between smelling food and weight gain. Thats right. Smelling food might make you gain weight. According to an article published last week in , the bodys sense of smell is tied to its decision to store fat rather than burn it off. Basically, that entire bucket of chicken you ordered when you were drunk and sad isnt just making you fat because of the calories, its also making you fat because it smells sooooo good your brain turns off your metabolism. Thanks, brain.

In the study, scientists fed three groups of mice, divided up into regular mice, super smellers, and mice whose sense of smell had been temporarily disabled, an all-Whopper-style meal plan, which Im fairly certain is the same meal plan Rob Kardashian has been on since season three.

The normal mice literally doubled in size, while the mice who couldnt smell all the greasy Burger King deliciousness only gained 10% more weight. So basically, the combination of both smelling and eating food (plus the fact that this was basically for mice) caused both the regular mice and the super-smelters to get fat AF, while the mice with no sense of smell just kept on living like they didnt eat value meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Shout out to all the mice who have sacrificed their beach bods for science. Youre the real heroes.

So, I think I speak for everyone when I say: fuck this study. This is not the kind of info that I need to hear right now. Im out here just trying to stick to a diet for one damn day and now some scientists at Berkeley are gonna tell me I also have to control what I smell? Nope. No thank you. Hard pass. I reject this info. If youre a scientist who uncovers something like smelling food makes you gain weight, keep that shit to yourself.

Any casual trip on the New York subway system will prove that you cant control what you smell. What am I supposed to do with this? Cut my nose off? Does this mean that my freshly baked cookie candle is the real reason I cant lose three pounds? You cant just dump all this info at our laps and walk away, study! How dare you bring this negativity into my life. 

Sorry Study, but you’re just rude, and I’m done with you. Go back to the drawing board and come to me with something about how baking cupcakes can make you skinny. 

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