Say, hypothetically, you go to a bakery to order your wedding cake.

Imagine you are Christian. And the bakery specializes in wedding cakes. Particularly satanic wedding cakes, but they make them for atheist and Buddhist weddings too, on occasion. And you happen to love the way their devil’s food cake tastes, and you’d like them to make one for your Christian wedding. And then the satanic baker says, “I’m sorry, but it’s against my beliefs to make a wedding cake for Christian weddings. Good day! Hail Satan!”

You’d be upset, right? (Along with being confused with the whole “Hail Satan” thing.)

Now imagine you are gay. And a Christian baker says making you a wedding cake is against their beliefs. Well, you don’t have to imagine. Because it really happens. On occasion. And then sometimes the courts have to weigh in and shut that down. But the outcome depends on which state you live in. Each state has its own set of rules.

But what about freedom of speech? Or freedom of religion? Or artistic freedom? What then?

John Corvino’s hilarious new video has answers to all your concerns about the rights of wedding cake bakers.

Along with being chair of the philosophy department at Wayne State University, John has a history of hilariously explaining, for example, why you can’t marry your kitchen appliances. In the below video, he explains why he can’t discriminate against his conservative students, why a Kosher bakery can refuse to make you a bacon cake, and why you can’t own a bakery where all the bakers are nude.

(Make sure to watch the whole video, there’s comedy after the credits.)

Good luck with all your baking. Please wear clothes when you do it.

John Corvino has written several books, including, most recently, “Debating Religious Liberty and Discrimination.” He does not own a nude bakery.

This article was updated 4/29/2017.

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