It sounds counterintuitive but sometimes separation is also the reason why a couple stays together.
Within the home, distinct his and hers spaces, such as a human cave or walk-in closet, are easy to digest and justify. After all, he requires space to store his stuff and do manly things and vice versa. Taking that space one step further is to go beyond shouting distance.
Meet “the mens” shed.
When North Carolina-based drummer Gregory Whitt moved in with his wife Annelies they agreed his drum collectionincluding goat-skinned African djembes( an acquired odor) couldnt come with. But leaving it behind would have been a deal breaker for Whitt. So, for the costs of one year at a storage facility, they constructed a backyard human shed where Whitt could store his instruments and record music. He calls it his G-Spot.
Its not a firewall, says Los Angeles-based writer Christopher J. Lynch, merrily wedded for more than 30 years. Lynch expended around $10,000 to build and furnish his 110 -square-foot man shed and credits it with helping his relationship stay solid by cementing a reciprocal respect for individual space. We dont believe in suffocate, joined at the hip relationships. Its where he does his writing, and his wife can see the supplementary benefits of his human shed in the form of his added income.
New dad Tyler Yost cant put a price tag on it, but hes frank about the value he sees in his 150 -square-foot man shed in Charlotte, N.C. My spouse and I simply had our first newborn and I think it not only helped save our matrimony, but also kept me sane on crazy, long nights. Man sheds are also a family affair for the Wetjen family. Craig Wetjen, a popular wedding photographer in Melbourne, was so inspired by his father-in-laws human shed he started photographing him and other men in their sheds for a book he plans to release in August. His spouse Jo is helping with the project and is equally inspired by her parents shed, I am convinced its existence has ensured his.
The man shed culture originated in Australiaa country with a divorce rate comparable to Americas. Philip Pilven, a friend of the Wetjens, lately hosted a shedwarming party to celebrate the completion of his second man shed. He outgrew his last shed, but his wife Gaye doesnt mind. She even helped host the party. Thousands of miles in rural Montana, Margaret Smith is also a fan of her husbands human shed which also doubles as an airplane hangar. Its huge and over day Pete Smith has probably expended a year or twos worth of their 29 -year-marriage in it, but as long as he keeps the intercom on so she can reach him, she doesnt complain.
A man shed doesnt have to be huge or high tech. Low-cost prefabricated models are readily available and can be the way to go in order to avoid battles over budget. For many men, its not about the construction; its about the contents: model trains, exercise equipment, cigar collections, pool tables, bars, fishing gear and other sentimental objects that can be tension-causing ticking-time bombs for debates over decoration and space.
Lisa Concepcion, the founder of Love Quest Marketing and a Miami-based love strategist, is all for human sheds but recommends agreeing on a few things first. He can decorate it however he wants, watch Tv there, tinker on projects, etc. But if he escapes to it every day for hours at a time and is in it more than the main home then that’s creating too much separation.
She indicates putting forth rules such as computers can only be used in the home office , no sleeping in the shed , no locks, and essentially anything that attains the shed a studio apartmentsomething that they are able be transformed into dangerous territory according to Concepcion. In New York and Chicago we watch many men keep apartments in the city. This is a recipe for disaster.
Parameters set and agreed upon, partners can really benefit, and even come closer together thanks to the presence of a human shed. Just the right amount of absence can allow one to recharge and build the heart grow fonder. Or at the least, minimise fighting.
Katie Jackson is a travel novelist. When shes not working, shes chasing after a Leonberger named Zeus.