Passover is the time when JABs all over the world say goodbye to any food product made from any wheat, barley, rye, oats, or spelt that has risen, and instead we eat matzah, which is as leavened and flavorful as a piece of actual cardboard. (Actually, I’d kind of prefer the cardboard.) But while putting away chametz for eight days can be pretty torturous, you don’t have to say goodbye to (all) your favorite foods. We’re not telling you to fill up on those shitty rainbow cookies, though, because that’s a fun way to gain 10 pounds in eight days. It may sound crazy, but you can be healthy during Passover without becoming suicidal. Heres what you should be eating this Passover that’s healthy but doesn’t taste like broken dreams:
When quinoa started getting trendy in the health food world, people werent sure if it would be allowed on Passover since its basically known as the Beverly Hills version of rice. Luckily, it turns out quinoa is technically a grain so its totally kosher. Phew. Betches tend to OD on quinoa during Passover, but like can you blame us? We miss our carbs. Quinoa is good for you, its easy to make, and its filled with fiber (fuck you, matzah). Its obviously our Passover go-to.
2. Cauliflower Pizza
Matzah pizza is like, SO 2004, and weve since moved onto a Passover creation more brilliant than blacking out at your Seder. Cauliflower pizza is exactly what it sounds like, and its not that hard to make. You make the crust by finely grinding cauliflower in a food processor and then spreading it onto a baking sheet. It literally tastes amazing and is healthier than regular pizza, so start cooking. The only downside is that its lack of bread wont help cure your hangover, but whatever. You win some, you lose some.
3. Bananas & Peanut Butter
This isnt particularly a Passover food, but its low-key K for P so well go for it. One of the hardest parts about the Passover food situation is snacking. I mean, it feels like we can totally make do during meals, but the snacks are fucking gross. Like, I dont want to decide between Bamba and marshmallows when both options make me wanna kill myself. Thats why we love the PB and banana combo to snack on during Passover. Its tastes good and its healthy, and like, its not Bazooka gum. Sorry to all the Ashkenazis who are shit outta luck because they don’t eat legumes.
4. All The Protein
Protein is an easy choice all year round, but during Passover, it seems like the only thing we can eat. Sorry if youre vegan (not really), but things like eggs, fish, yogurt, and meat are all staples during Passover. I mean, were not suggesting you eat your grandmothers brisket for three meals a day, but foods that are high in protein are pretty much all kosher for Passover, so take advantage of that.
5. Matzah Ball Soup
Okay, so its not exactly healthy because there’s probably a shit ton of sodium and we can’t have nice things, but at the same time every time I start my Passover dinner with a bowl of matzah ball soup I’m too full to touch the potatoes so like, it fucking counts as a health food. Russ & Daughters made matzah ball soup trendy a couple years back, but JABs have been indulging in this epic dish since we were young enough to recite the Ma Nishtana. Matzah ball soup is literally Jewish soul food, and theres nothing more comforting than slurping a huge bowl of soup after chugging (at least) four glasses of wine before 10pm.
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