If you live above the Mason-Dixon line, you possibly are not as familiar with the phenomenon that is apple pie topped with a slice of funky, salty, sharp cheddar cheese. Yes, it sounds fucking gross but for some reason this works so amazingly that we could literally throw our diets to the wind and indulge. For serious. So, if you want to bring a taste of the south with a smattering of culinary prowess to your next holiday party, make this shit. Its like regular apple pie but much, much cooler, thanks so a stylish cheddar crust instead of a cafeteria-style slice of cheddar slapped on top no thanks.

By the way, we adapted this recipe from Ms. Martha Stewart herself, so dont take any shortcuts or else it wont taste awesome and everyone will know what a grotsky little bitch you are in the kitchen.


  • 4 tbsps four, plus more for rolling
  • 1 recipe cheddar crust below
  • 2 tbsps fresh lemon juice
  • 4 lbs Granny Smith apples the green ones
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 2 tsps cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp salt

Preheat the oven to 425 and put the rack as low as it can go. On a piece of parchment paper (with flour on it), roll each of the crust disks to like a 14-inch round. Transfer one to a baking sheet for the top crust and put in the fridge. Wrap second disk around a rolling pin and transfer slash unroll over a 9-inch pie plate for the bottom crust. GENTLY press it into the bottom and up the sides dont break or put holes in your dough, god.

Alright, grab a bowl and throw the lemon juice in there. Over the sink or garbage, peel, quarter, and core the apples then thinly slice and toss with the lemon juice. Add the sugar, flour, cinnamon, and salt to the bowl tossing everything till its nice and combined.

CAREFULLY fill the bottom crust with the apple mixture and brush the edge of the crust with water then place the top crust yes, the one in the fridge over the filling pressing all around the edge to seal. Trim the overhang and press to seal crimping if youre fucking fancy.

With a tiny-ass knife, cut small slits in the center of the pie, then place the pie on a rimmed baking sheet and put in the oven. Bake for like 20 minutes then reduce the heat to 375 baking until crust is golden about 50 minutes. When its done, take it out and let it cool or else itll be molten-lava hot.

For the crust:

  • 2 cups flour, plus more for rolling
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tbsp sugar
  • 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces
  • 1 cups shredded sharp cheddar (6 ounces)
  • to cup ice water

Grab a food processor and pulse together the flour, salt and sugar. Then add the butter and cheddar and pulse until the mixture sorta looks like coarse meal with a few pea-size pieces of butter. Sprinkle with 2 tablespoons ice water. Pulse until dough is crumbly but holds together when squeezed (if necessary, add up to 2 tablespoons water, 1 tablespoon at a time). Don’t overmix or itll taste shitty.

Divide into two disks and turn dough out onto a large piece of plastic wrap. Fold plastic over dough; press to shape into a 1-inch-thick disk. Refrigerate until firm, at least 1 hour.

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