When summer comes a-knocking, your sweat glands open up their doors first. That’s right, the risk of summer sweat stains has tragically returned once more.
Baking soda, vinegarand special clothes are standard ways to avoid looking like a sweat monster. But you’re not a standard person, and this may not be a standard stain.For the daring folks, there are other ways to un-stain your shirts, using strange and untested solutions.
Tie dye the shirt to cover the stain
“But this is my work shirt, I can’t tie dye this.” Keep in mind that the alternative is wearing that stained shirt to work. If you tie dye that tarnished button-up, your boss will be far too distracted by the explosion of colors you bring to the workplace to notice how much they make you sweat.
And if you really need to keep that shirt plain for whatever job demands that of you, tie dye only the spot with the stain. People may see your rainbow sweat stains and ask if you’re a unicorn, which is a great way to start a conversation or impress that special someone.
Why do the shirt colors that hide sweat stains the best also have to be the colors that make you sweat the most?
All Chill Andy (@AndyLewis97) June 20, 2016
Stain the rest of your clothing
“No, no, the whole point is to clean the stain.” A stain is defined as a discolored spot or smudge, which means technically, a stain only exists so long it doesn’t match the color around it.
For anyone who enjoys being “technically correct,” blotching the rest of the shirt in the same way will mean you now have a solid alibi when your friend wrongfully accuses you of “staining” the shirt. Whether or not you’ve “soiled” the shirt is a different matter.
Oh, and coat it with air freshener when you’re done.
I don’t know why ppl get so offended by sweat stains??? like ppl sweat??? it’s natural???
kt sAmArA (@_katiesamara) June 15, 2016
Sew patches over the stains
If you sew or iron a cool new patch over the stain, it’s a great way to express yourself while covering up the more unseemly parts of your person you’ve imprinted onto the shirt.
What patch you use doesn’t matter, so long as it’s big enough to tuck in just under the sleeve. So if you have, for example, a Grateful Dead patch lying around, go “riding that train” to a pitstop and represent your favorite band while covering your armpits. It only looks weird if you make it weird.
It’s so hot outside sidewalk outlines have sweat stains under their arms
Paul Lander (@paul_lander) June 19, 2016
Turn up the heat until everyone else has sweat stains
“Is it moral to drag everyone else down simply for my benefit?” we hear you say. Not in the slightest, but you’ve already rejected the tie dye option so here we are. A quick trip to the office thermostat will result in everyone having it just as bad as you.
And if your boss fires you for this act of office sabotage and hires someone new, they’ll have to bring in a clean-shirted employee who will judge them for their sweat stains. If that happens, feel free to refer your boss to this article.